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Successful Leadership Comes From Leaning Into Your Own Style

leadership skills

Are you staying safe…or risking forward?

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I was at a conference a few years ago. Mid-morning on the second day, a presenter walked onto the stage and asked us to close our eyes and imagine we were standing on the moon and looking down at the timeline of our lives.

I’m not great at visualization, but I could definitely see the line and the bright points of success and joy…as well as the dark spots of fear and failure.

The presenter was Victoria Labalme and she went on to talk about presentation skills and the confidence that comes from speaking from who we are rather than focusing on just the material.

For me, that years ago session was transformative. During the next break I hurried to the back of the ballroom and signed up for Victoria’s Rock the Room® training.

Since taking that course, I’ve had incredible success with executive presentations, kick-off meetings, and team updates. Her lessons helped me understand how to plan and run each meeting so they are not just an exchange of data, but so worthwhile that attendees have spontaneously applauded at the end, and sent me apologetic notes if they need to miss a meeting.

This morning I clicked open one of my favorite Sunday morning video posts from Jeff Walker and – bonus! – he was interviewing Victoria about a new book she has coming out called Risk Forward.

Listening to them talk about the premise of the book made me wonder: what if I hadn’t taken that risk to sign up for her course? What if I held back with my usual “wait and see” attitude? What if I hadn’t stepped up and gone to the conference in the first place?

It’s so easy these days to sit in our homes and not push ourselves – not risk criticism, overwhelm, or disappointment. We have a nice & safe, aesthetic distance between us and our teams (aka Zoom, Teams, and WebEx). So while the world feels “paused” we may be putting our growth on hold, too.

Are we still thinking forward to the next 5 years – the next 2 years – 1 year – to the end of the project?

The reality is, when we stop moving and growing, everything else around us stagnates, too. And that includes our projects and our teams.

Humans are social creatures – yes, even the introverts among us. This past year has been a challenge in many ways. It’s tough to feel that connection when you can’t be in the same room without blocking half your face. Many of us are now permanently “work from home”, cutting off impromptu conversations at the coffee machine or grabbing a minute of someone’s time to ask a question after a meeting.

We must be more mindful than ever of our own inertia. And take extra steps to make sure we’re intentional in our growth.

This past year may have tossed our plans and dreams out the window. But that shouldn’t stop us from making new plans and having new dreams.

I am working hard to find new ways to grow and evolve. I’m setting new goals. I have new dreams. Will something else happen to knock them over? Possibly. Will I have days where I’m glad I can hide behind a computer screen? Yup. But if I don’t keep moving towards those goals and dreams, I’ll never achieve them, will I?

I hope you’ll join me in risking forward – hey, if you fall…it will still be forward, right?

Is It Sabotage?

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I was talking with a friend the other day. He is working on a renovation project. The team gathered requirements, reviewed options, had a lively discussion (or three), made decisions and then sent the final plans to the architect.

If you’re a PM you know what’s coming…

Yup, 2 days later, one of the team members sent an email to everyone: “I don’t think this is going to work. Here’s what we should do instead…”

UGH!

I felt so bad for my friend. And I could complete empathize!

It happens all the time on a project, unfortunately.

But why do certain people always seem to sabotage a project? And what can we do to prevent it?

The “why” is pretty easy: we’re human. And being human means we’re subject to frailty and influence…and we don’t always do what we should, even if we know better.

Here are some common reasons for the late entries:

  • Shyness. Some people don’t like to speak up. They work up the courage to speak but it’s well after the deadline
  • Introversion. As opposed to shyness, these folks may not speak up in a meeting, but need some time to reflect. And they may feel more comfortable writing or meeting 1:1 to discuss
  • Power. Let’s face it. Some people – consciously or unconsciously – feel the need to step in and take over. They may believe they have the better answers and it’s “my way or the highway”
  • Temperament. This one feels like Power, but it’s more about how they communicate. I know plenty of folks who honestly don’t realize they’re disrupting the very thing they’re trying to accomplish – they think they’re helping by bringing up additional suggestions or solutions, regardless of who they’re stepping on or how much re-work they’re causing

Having these late additions go unchecked can disrupt the project and the good will of the rest of the team. People may even leave the team completely – they refuse to work with the “disrupter”.

And as the Project Manager, if you don’t rein in the late entries your reputation takes a hit, too.

Each case is unique, but given the four common reasons above, there are a few pretty simple ways to minimize the occurrence, or at least the disruption:

  • Set up a short meeting with the known disruptor pre-decision meeting. Ask their thoughts and if there are any risks they see. Make sure to bring up these risks during the meeting so they’re addressed
  • Set up a meeting with the disruptor post-decision meeting. Ask for feedback again – you can play on the “did we cover it all” angle
  • Hedge your bets by giving the decision a “draft”. Give the final decision a buffer period for “new information”. I use this one with requirements. Sometimes we’ll schedule a “soft freeze”, knowing things will come up right after we freeze the requirements – even without a “saboteur” on the team!
  • Simply don’t allow it. Politely but firmly tell them it can’t be changed without \approval from the executive team. This one is tough to do unless you’ve planned for it. I always set up a change control process early in the project: process, documentation, decision-making. And make sure everyone is aware of this process throughout the project

Identifying project risks is important, no matter when they are raised. Our goal is always to bring the project forward, with everyone on board. Seeking to understand why a team member gives you a late entry helps lead you to the most appropriate response.

Does That Mean…Yes? Or No?

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The other day my husband Steve asked if I was ready to go for a walk. I replied, “And the dog’s more than ready!”

He said “that’s not what I asked. Are you ready?”

This tends to happen to us. He’ll ask a question. I’ll read into it and give a reply that assumes the answer.

But if he doesn’t hear the actual answer, he can’t interpret what I’ve said. And that is frustrating for both of us.

If I’d simply added 1 word, if I’d answered “Yes! And the dog’s more than ready!” he would have understood and been able to receive the further information. Instead, I assumed he understood that my “and” covered the answer.

We all know what happens when we “ass-u-me”.

As I have a tendency to do this at home, I need to be extra careful to avoid “assuming and extrapolating” at work, too.

Communication with our stakeholders should be concise, as we all have full plates already. In an effort to be brief, to not waste our reader’s time, we naturally make assumptions in our emails, documentation, reports, etc. However, being too concise increases the chance of misinterpretation.

Here are three key methods to keep your communication clear:

  • Answer the question first. If you’re replying to an email or writing a summary report, there was an initial question or intent you’re responding to. First answer the question, and only then add relevant information
  • Use formatting techniques. Specifically, use bullet points to group together information. But here’s the key: use a header topic to explain the information. (For example, these bullet points are under a header topic that says the grouping is all about clear communication.)
  • Re-read your document for assumptions. Do you remember your elementary school teacher telling you to write like you’re explaining to “someone who has never heard of the topic”? That remains good advice! Especially in our distracted world, our team members don’t always pay attention to the details. This is a good way to orient them to the subject before you give them important information

Clear communication takes effort. It’s a balance between data and human nature. If we are going to respond to a question, we must answer it in a way that the person asking can understand and absorb. No assumptions.

Am I ready to walk the dog? Yes. Is he excited, too? Absolutely! Time to get his leash…

What Are You Having For Dinner Tonight?

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Imagine this: it’s Tuesday night and you’re making dinner – spaghetti and a salad. No big deal.

You take the sauce out of the freezer (you’re Italian. There’s no way you’re opening a jar). You meant to take it out in the morning to thaw, but forgot till right now.

You decide you will take the chance on microwaving plastic because your family is really looking forward to pasta. So you pop it in for just a few minutes then plunk it in a pot to finish heating.

Okay, onto the next thing…

You boil the water and go to the cabinet…there’s 1/2 a box of spaghetti left. Argh! Decision – make something else, order takeout, or go to the store?

You already started defrosting the sauce and your family is counting on spaghetti so you turn off the stove, hop in the car, and head to the store. They don’t have your favorite brand. Another decision – different type of pasta, another brand, or scrap it and head home empty handed?

You decide call your spouse because they’ll have a strong opinion. They want another brand… you stay on the phone with them while you figure it out (you’re not taking a chance the 2nd brand will be out of spaghetti!).

You head home, then start the water boiling again and open the refrigerator. You take out the salad ingredients but…you’re out of cucumbers. @#$%^! You were just at the store!

This time you make the executive decision: forget the cucumbers. You’ll live without them.

In the end, you got dinner on the table and everyone is happy…sort of: it’s not the brand of pasta they were expecting and your daughter loves cucumbers. Oh, and all those little mishaps meant dinner was over an hour late and that messed up the rest of your evening plans.

What’s the moral of the story?

A LITTLE PLANNING GOES A LONG WAY.

I don’t mean you need to plan a week of dinners every Sunday (if you can, kudos – I’ve never had that skill). But maybe the night before would have been enough. You’d have taken the sauce out to thaw and checked your ingredients… you could have planned to go to the store earlier or picked something else for dinner before your family was counting on pasta.

Let’s turn this around now and talk about leading your team.

Teams – like dinner – run a lot smoother with a bit of planning and organization.

Do you make sure they have the tools they need to be efficient…and to succeed? Are you thinking beyond “this meal” and helping plan their workload so they don’t get crushed next week?

If you’re in charge of a team, you can make the difference between on-time & efficient and late & stressed. So please – take a few minutes to think things through in advance before plowing ahead.

And…ummm…sorry about the craving for Italian tonight! 😉